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studious_academic
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Name: Lisa-roo
Gender: Female
Interests: music. film. literature. philosophy. theology. books. movies. skiing. climbing. crocheting. yoga. biology. yarn. books. traveling. dancing. pictures. old movies. good art. cooking.
Occupation: student/intern
Industry: biotech
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/13/2003
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"Never love unless you can
Bear with all the faults of man
Men sometimes will jealous be
Though but little cause they see;
And hang the head as discontent,
And speak what straight they will repeat.
Men that but one saint adore
Make a show of love to more;
Beauty must be scorned in none,
Though but truly served in one:
For what is courtship but disguise?
True hearts may have dissembling eyes.
Men, when their affairs require,
Must awhile themselves retire;
Sometimes hunt, and sometime hawk,
And not ever sit and talk.
If these and such-like you can bear,
Then like, and love, and never fear!"
- Thomas Campion
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| I am happy. More so than any time ever before in my life. I am content; occasionally unhappy, occasionally jealous of old ghosts, occasionally frustrated, often selfish, and always loved.
The most beautiful things in life are those which leave you with no words to describe them by, only a deep, universal, accepting silence, punctuated by the occasional rustle of movement, her re-settling her head onto his chest, his arm supporting and cradling; phone conversations that fade into silence, only interrupted by speech to hear the other's voice again, not even the words, just the person; endless conversation and equally endless quiet savoring of companionship, no words, little action, monumental significance.
sometimes, silence isn't deafening, when it's no longer become something to be filled, like a glass, but a piece to be enjoyed of itself; but, time, oh time, that is a glass to be filled to the brim and overflowing, to taste every moment and drink deeply and fill oneself.
I understand things I never have before, and I am calm, not unbreakable, but stronger still than before.
[dismiss it as overdramatic if you like, but until you've lived it, your condescension of my current state has absolutely no value.]
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| I've always had too much to say, an opinion about everything, but the last year has taught me humility, compassion and the significance of context. Sometimes, the battles aren't worth fighting, and I'm not discussing world politics with that statement. I mean people.
The people around us may be the only chance we are given to make an impression on the world. If we alienate and distance them, what opportunities might we lose? I've friends who've hit bottom, but could still call me to ask for help or an ear, because they knew I wouldn't hate them for anything they've done or might do. It's not my place. It's my place to evaluate the actions of others and decide whether those actions are appropriate, and whether they would be right for ME to do. I'm not saying that the moral standards I believe in don't apply to everyone, but I cannot enforce them. I'm only given examples to decide whether to copy or reject, and the people behind them are simply to be loved and cared for. Not always condoned, and some actions do beg to be corrected or chastised, but rarely is it my place, unless requested of me.
What I'm saying is that the world presents itself not to be judged but to be "accepted" -- and that's not always a valid decision to make. All I can choose is to love, not-love, or to simply be civil while maintaining myself and my own ways. It is not my place to judge the people, only myself.
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| Last Year:
This Year:
So, somewhere to be, somewhere to work, and I'll only be a couple
hundred miles away from where I wish I was. Oh well, at least
there are weekends. And, it's far better than the other few
options, ugly as they are.
In other words, "tox rocks!" (dosis facit venenum)
I'll be home on the 8th of June.
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| -- but a decently good student and friend, lately. At least, I'm trying.
Went to Apple Blossom this weekend. Met nice people. Had a
good time. Got books, watched the parade, helped with some stuff
-- overall, quite nice, and surprisingly relaxing. Haven't seen
the Derby tape (from this weekend) yet, but I will.
Surprised? Yes, I missed the Kentucky Derby -- found some things
that are more important than even little traditions that I love.
No regrets.
Another month here, then a week of finals, then back to home, and
working for Amgen again this summer. It'll be good to be back,
but I'll miss some things about here. Okay, more than a few
things; friends, space, my room, the town, everything (except the food).
Now, back to Ecology. And, folding laundry. Exciting life, yes?
p.s. everyone's moving so quickly with their lives, getting married and
such. I feel like I'm playing catch-up, but it doesn't matter,
because I'm happy where I am right now. It's good to be satisfied.
p.p.s. Saw Spiderman 3 on Friday at midnight, first
screening. Don't bother; I'm sorry I lost the 3-4 hours of
sleep staying up for that, it wasn't worth it. Save your money
and rent it later, if you have to, but you really needn't bother...
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